Austin Valentine's Day Haikus
One stop shopping to keep romance alive
It’s time again to bestow several seasonally-topical Haikus on you to make sure that all y’all have a night worthy of being arguably the #2 greeting card and flower shop-driven holiday out there.
Time’s a wasting, so let’s get right to it.
“Will You Be My Steiner Ranch Valentine?”
It’s Valentine’s Day!
Time with the couples you love
Ted & Stacy’s house
***
“Mt. Bonnell Proposal”
Tonight was the night
To give Ella this new ring
Oops, right off the cliff
***
“Steak and Blowjob”
It’s a special night
Steak and a blowjob for me
Which really means steak
***
“My Tinder Valentine”
It’s so romantic!
First date with Devon is here
Chuy’s and a fuck
***
“I’m Late”
Traffic is so bad
I’m late for my date with Ben
(My period, too)
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“Mom and Dad”
Already in bed?
Mom and Dad must be tired
It’s only 7:00
***
“Roses are Red And So Am I”
Fucking HEB
50 bucks for 12 roses?
Are y’all Randalls now?
***
“Viagra Blues”
I paid good money
For blue pills that do not work
Netflix with no chill
***
Have an awesome Valentine’s Day, however y’all celebrate!
Chuy’s and a fuck is a classic Austin date (for the six months in someone’s life between college graduation and settling for that first job in sales).